Hello! I am Vik and I am melancholic (person with melancholic temperament).
What does this say about me?
Well, a lot of things actually š
Look at this picture
Ā
A man on an endless lonely journey through a dark, foggy, wet and cold forest š
Very depressing, isn’t it?
Well, that is me and my life š
As a melancholic, I am emotionally sensitive introvert, who often seeks perfection.
And being this way in our imperfect world means experiencing strong and sometimes even overwhelming negative emotions every day.
Which deeply affecting my personality, making me a firm pessimist.
So feeling of sorrow, sadness, melancholy is my regular state of mind.
And feeling of worry, anxiety, fear ā those are my strongest emotions.
What do I fear of?
Well, everything and everyone š
I have an analytical brain and he always sees potential danger (worst possible scenarios).
I fear of getting into a car accident, fear of getting robbed, fear of a brick falling onto my head (this accident actually happened to one of my neighbors) and so onā¦
But to be honestā¦
Fear of getting physically hurt is much weaker than the fear of getting hurt emotionally.
When someone is mean/aggressive to meā¦
Or use passive aggression, criticism, condemnation towards important aspects of my lifeā¦
I feel huge emotional pain, which can last for several days.
That is why I fear of it the most.
When I look back at my lifeā¦
Only small percentage of my memories are positive.
Most of my life I was experiencing negative emotions.
So now it is hard for me to feel joy when something good happens.
Because my positive emotions are not evolved enough.
I simply don’t feel anything pleasurable.
Unless I spend some time thinking and concentrating on my feelings.
Another problem that I, as a melancholic, have is low self-esteem.
It affects all aspects of my life and makes me to constantly doubt all my decisions.
I see the world as a very dangerous and ruthless place and I perceive myself as a weak and stupid person.
I believe that if a problem will occur ā I won’t be able to resolve it.
Making mistakes makes me a loser.
And so, in order to prevent problems and making mistakes, I tend to hide from the world.
As a result ā I often feel myself as a victim of this world and of myself (my subconscious).
One of my strong sides is my ability for empathy.
It allows me to better understand people, their thoughts and emotions.
I care about others and have no desire to hurt them.
And when I do or say something disappointing ā I am experiencing huge feeling of guilt.
Often this feeling is so strong that it is unbearable for me.
And it forces me to ignore my needs and other feelings in order to help them.
So often people are taking advantage of me.
One of my unique problems is a thing called āBrain Fogā.
āItās a type of cognitive dysfunction involving memory problems, lack of mental clarity, poor concentration and inability to focus.ā
I experience it every day as a soft, wide physical pressure on my prefrontal cortex.
It appears about 10 minutes after I wake up.
And can get stronger during intellectual work or under feeling of stress.
If during the day I am experiencing strong brain fog ā then in the evening it is replaced by a headache in the same region.
It greatly decreases the quality of my life and my ability to work, think, plan and make decisions.
Why am I writing this in the blog?
Well, there are several reasons.
One is egoisticā¦
Sharing my thoughts and feelings will make me feel better (will release the inner tension).
Second is altruisticā¦
I believe that there are many people in the world who are feeling the same as I.
And reading this blog will let them know that they are not alone and it will help them to understand themselves better.
What this blog is about?
Itās about me and my melancholic journey throughout this life š
And how I am overcoming my melancholic predispositions and life challenges.
If you are interested in reading more about what is temperament, please visit this page:
https://temperaments.fighunter.com/?page=about
If you are interested in reading more about melancholic temperament, please visit this page:
https://temperaments.fighunter.com/?page=melancholic
If you are interested in the comparison of temperament traits, please visit this page:
https://temperaments.fighunter.com/?page=comparison
If you are interested in the āBrain Fogā, please visit this page:
https://www.healthline.com/health/brain-fog
Thanks for reading my post!
Have an awesome day!
Best Regards,
Vik